Twenty-five years ago about this time (10 pm) the Johnny Carson show was "coming on". I was in bed; tired from ballet practice for an upcoming recital. My mom had picked me up from practice about 8:00 pm. We arrived home and my dad was gone. No biggie... I grabbed some food and off to bed. All was fine. Hell, he was gone trysting those nearby mountains with nothing more than a knife and 38 Special for almost two days to reach a spot.
But it was not fine. Over the intro to the Carson show my mom heard the sirens and knew something was wrong. We lived in a small community in Arizona... now it would be called the burbs of a small city... not in 1984...rural.
My mom followed the sirens. They led her to the vacant lot (undeveloped) across the street from one of my best friends home. There is a reason he was there. Jerome, Arizona. Mingus Mountain... Have you ever seen at it night? When it's pitch black? Jerome floats. It's the City in the Sky. My dad used to love to look at Jerome on nights such as this. Pitch Black.
Twenty - Five years ago and it is still difficult for me to "go there". I wake up... my dad has been in an accident. His car exploded in the vacant lot across the street from Melissa's home. Melissa's dad was the person who called the Fire Dept. Eight minutes elapse... They found him in the backseat of the car. I've talked with a few of the officers and fire chiefs who were there and remember the scene and investigation.
For those curious... those conversations happened after my boys were diagnosed.
It was a '78 Nova. My grandparents are on their way. A 20 minute drive. I think I fall asleep again. I do not understand it all. Then my grandparents and I are at the hospital and I see my dad. Bandaged from head to who knows where. My dad who has second and third degree burns over 80% of his body sees me, and reaches out to hug me. He lived for two months to the day.
I learned alot from my dad during those two months. And he was never conscience again.
Daddy, I Love You
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3 comments:
Ang, I'm so sorry.
Kim
I am so sorry for your loss. Do you think it make you stronger? Do you sometimes feel like his strength is in you?
The fact that it has been 25 years and yet the feeling in your writing makes it seem like yesterday is a testament to the meaning he had in your life.
My Dad passed 3 years ago this April after a long battle with NPH. He was failing for so long, but his death still shook us to the core. Had he been healthy during this 14 year battle for Nick, I know he would have been a warrior with us. He was a, push the square peg into the round hole, and make it work kind of guy. I will never get over not having his help and support. it makes no sense to me that the ones we need the most go to Heaven too soon.
I do believe that they are our kids guardian angels though. And I give him credit for my strength.
Ang,
I have to agree with Karen and say that you are who you are today because of your past experiences. Dealing with this tragedy at such an impressionable age has given you strength you would probably not have otherwise.
And thank the Universe you are who you are!
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